Hallmark, ranked.

How can Chicago — or any city — support multiple digital scavenger hunt companies?

That’s really all we want to know. (All of us)

A woman fed up with weddings decides to start a business writing a guide book… for weddings. But a venue is closed and she needs it open, because she gave away a free wedding to boost her fledgling new venture.

She hands a man a to-do list for a couple he’s never met. He knows what to do with his hands to get things done, but what about his heart? (Adam)

A mysterious stranger shows a single, career-obsessed lawyer an alternate life path where she is married with two kids. After the shock, she eventually learns to appreciate her new role before she is snapped back to reality and forced to choose between torpedoing the old career she loved or going on a date with a guy called Bill. (Josh)

Seeking some froth in her life, a woman escapes the city of brotherly love. What did she…? How did…? Why did she go…? Because her Grandpa drove into a coffee shop? And there’s a guy, and her mom, and pumpkins, and oh, I quit. (Colin)

What’s this, a Hallmark movie with a guy with a guitar with a real singing voice? This crooning cowboy swaps Hollywood glitz for hometown grit and discovers what he’s been missing: a wedding in a barn, and a childhood friend to two-step her way onto the altar. (Jenn)

In case the world needs more Kansas City Chiefs, here’s a Hallmark movie about a hat being responsible for the Kansas City Chief’s success (and lack thereof).

A woman and her family fall into a PR crisis involving their favorite team she also falls in love with the man who put them there. (Adam)

Where there’s barbecue smoke, there’s fire, but the real heat is between a divorced chef returning to her hometown and a celebrity chef doing the same, each for a barbecue competition. Does the old flame still burn? How long can love smoke and smolder before it’s ready to serve it, alongside a side of charm and chemistry. (Adam)

In true Doc Hollywood fashion, a couple of gals from the city take on Jackson, WY’s cold, break a famous statue, and rescue the hometown cowboy from financial ruin by holding a charity gala. (Jenn)

A jilted innkeeper, a grieving lawyer, a father looking to connect with his daughter, a daughter, an uninspired musician, a salesman, and a Karen, all converge in a land of perpetual snowfall (at the Snowfall Inn.)

What mysterious circumstances have brought them together on this, the most silent of nights? Great ready for a serendipitous adventure full of love, courage, passion, fate, happiness, and of course, mystery. (Josh)

A woman in a Santa costume and a man in a Santa costume look for each other while surrounded by a bunch of friends and strangers in Santa costumes.

Hallmark gets points for using a bar crawl as a plot device for their romance, which is just enough to keep the movie afloat. (Adam)

When the smooth-skinned daughter of a dried up executive finds out her only possession of value is a flaky pumpkin farm, she applies herself to restore it and bring out its natural shine. With her fast acting formula and a blistering knack for curing blemishes, can Jenny soothe and rejuvenate her spotty asset and bring some moisture to its rough and irritated leader? (Colin)

A talented chef at a personal and professional crossroads begins taking lessons from a surf instructor who has lost his stoke.

They meet in the lineup, the swell is pumping. Will the currents cause them to drift apart, or will they ride the perfect wave and see where it takes them? (Josh)

A freshly single local real estate heiress with emotional baggage in tow gets handed a multi-million dollar listing with its own kind of baggage in the form of one Miss Ruby Baker, 1920s socialite, matchmaker, and resident ghost.

After a rocky start, the two partner up to close on a different kind of charming property, ex fiancé Elliott’s heart. After the flapper flips Katie’s looks, Katie invites Elliott to a dinner date that turns into a bit of a flop.

In the end though, their relationship has good bones, a great location for Elliott to continue his restoration projects, decent schools and low interest rates, so Katie puts in an offer the historical restorer can’t turn down: a second chance on love. And as her commission, Ruby reconnects with long-lost love Charlie, her dream home-boy. (Jenn)

Our new worst movie. Despite seven years, a dream journalist job, and a likable boyfriend that treats her well, the sparks don’t fly for the small town girl in the big city. She instead goes home to blow up fireworks, relationships, and any chance at any of us liking this movie. (Amanda)

Bigger, better, and really not that bad. But why put an engagement ring into a snowball and throw it at the intended? The movie we watched first lent itself to much discussion on account of its time travelling train. (Adam)

This movie earned a huge bump in our ranks for daring to put The Hallmark Kiss first. We watched The IBF as our 3rd movie, and enjoyed it despite a ghost grandma and her questionable artwork. Roy has yet to be supplanted as our favorite Hallmark beau. (Adam)

A discarded baby uses Christmas magic on three brothers, leading them to reconcile, find love, and start their lives anew, all within a week. (Jenn)

Disorienting depth of field, sterile lighting–this was the first Hallmark movie that compelled two of us to finish it the next day. Our sixth movie was a forgettable undercover boss story with a forgettable kiss. (Adam)

Superman, after he was superman, became a fireman with a stray cat, a huge house, and an even bigger crush. The concluding kiss on a firetruck, we felt, hinted at some real chemistry between the leads. (Alexia)

The classic debit card swap prompts two people, each focused on their careers, to swap stories, romance, and inevitably their hearts. (Colin)

A MJH special — Lifetime, Not Hallmark — that was so bad it was good. As our 8th movie, it might have ranked lower had we watched it earlier, but its goofy self-awareness we found endearing, esp. the nut cracking montage. (Adam)

The story of two competing and co-working television hosts forced to be co-hosts. Our fourth movie was average, and only because the boss character salvaged it. (Adam)

Why didn’t they investigate the obvious Leprechaun dwelling? Just one question in a confusing movie best not nitpicked, our 5th movie left us with a Q:A ratio too disproportionate for it to overcome, despite another lovely adults-playing-in-the-snow scene. (Adam)

Near unanimously disliked in our group for being dull, the movie deserves credit for tackling adult issues in an adult way and also having one of the steamier romance scenes (in a outdoor spa). Our second movie nearly scuttled our Hallmark ship. (Adam)